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Did You Ever Love Me?

Was there a part of me that
you once embraced?
Was there ever a time when
your heart reached out to mine and
held tightly to it?
Was there never real sentiment there?
Was it only an illusion cast by your pain
and insecurities?
Was there ever a time when the thought
of us together made you smile?
When "we" warmed your heart with the
anticipation and excitement of what was to
Did you ever look back with regret once I
was gone?
Did you ever wonder what might have been,
had you only tried a little harder...
waited a little longer...
a opened yourself a little more?
Did causing me pain ever make you question
your decisions?
Did I ever matter in the equation of your life?
Do you understand...?
do you have a clue...?
as to how I hurt?
And does that matter to
you at all?
I had only my love to offer you.
Only my heart to give.
Not a great scholar or person of wealth.
Only someone who loved you more than they could
ever love themself.
Someone who wasn't quite enough.
Someone who still stands here,
remembering the good,
trusting in the person you were...
and loving you still.
Someone who is very foolish...
But someone touched by so much love that
time and distance seem not to fade it.
Someone who gave you a heart full of
compassion and joy...
and who hasn't been able
to claim it back...
and isn't certain it should be.
Did you ever love me?
Our friends tell me no.
Did you ever love me?
My heart is calling out for answers...
for if you really loved me...
why did you go?


Copyright Brenda Hager, January 1999
Do not use or reproduce without permission

""When the heart sings and the spirit soars,
the music of life is complete."
bkh - October 99
"Love is the music the heart sings best."
"To bring you laughter each morning and warmth at night...
would bring me joy at all hours." :c)

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